DIAMONDZ 2021 CARPET REVIEW

After what can only be described as a turbulent and tumultuous year, we suddenly find ourselves peddling faster than a speeding bullet towards the latter quarter of 2021 - and with it comes a lively lineup of SDFB events, kicking off with the dazzling Diamondz, hosted by Umut Gulme on the eve of September 5th. Originally pegged as a flashy ode to Y2K fashion and culture, this years theme lent itself to the attendees interpretation of an era of their choosing, taking us on a thematic trip through time and its reflection on fashion through the ages.

Bestowed upon us was a buffet of fancy flappers, dolled up Dior debutants, futuristic fem-bots and just about everything in between. With a theme as broad as the one at this years Diamondz, we were given a much more introspective look into the way the most beloved members of our community navigate the process of dressing up for duty, and the true scope of their ability to reference something special. A vast majority of those who showed up did manage to do so in decent dress - alas, no affair can go unscathed by my own personal scrutiny, which as ever, is to be directed at those who tragically missed the mark.

I had no choice but to switch things up for this review, considering how few looks felt dire enough to be torn apart, I will only be critiquing four of the worst looks, however, I shower a usual total of five best dressed and three honourable mentions with my devout praise. The fallout from my previous reviews has fluctuated, so allow me to remind you that these are solely my opinions, not to be taken personally (or even that seriously, really), and if you find yourself offended by any of the commentary in this post, consider touching grass. Now, with the formalities out of the way, let’s turn back the clock to see who was really present on the carpet and who is better off left in the past…

(PSA: all looks featured were designed by the person wearing them, unless stated otherwise. None of the criticism is based on the quality of the graphics, but rather the look itself. Both the main event and afterparty looks were taken into consideration for this review. This post contains female frontal nudity)

BEST OF THE NIGHT

UMUT

If there’s anything I have time for, it’s this impeccably decadent moment delivered to us by none other than the nights host herself, Umut. Drenched in peachy perfect trails of fluffy fur over a halter neck Mugler crystal minidress, and perched atop a Swarovksi blinged out champagne glass to match, this look, made by Nihil, is pure opulence in every sense of the word. Umut profoundly and loudly let’s us know that this is her time to shine, and does it decked out in in an eye watering display of 100% cunt glamour — quite literally taking a seat at her rightful throne and telling everyone else to go the fuck home. Every detail is correct, from the Madonna inspired ponytail right down to the decorated Pleaser stripper heels - and while I find myself asking what exact era this represents, I come to the conclusion that it simply transcends time and is in itself a euphoric amalgamation of timeless beauty and style. Period.

BARLI

It takes a special type of tenacity to pull off a clash of patterns in the way that Barli so effortlessly did in this divine Versace (?) 90’s get up, by Ana, confirming that she knows what she has and exactly how to work with it. The padded plush tiger-stripe fur coat compliments a swirl printed minidress, and accentuates Barli’s best assets - a glittered bosom and thighs that could crush a mans skull with ease - so unbelievably well. Perfectly accessorised with white hot symmetrical cross strap heels and an understated clutch, giving way to a glorious waterfall of box braids which deliver that final dose of black excellence. What sets this look apart from so many others is its innate ability to speak to Barli’s own personal aesthetic, leaving no stoned unturned when it comes to embracing the styles she responds too and, ultimately, owns with inadmissible fortitude.

NIHIL

Staying firmly planted in her recurring spot on my best dressed is Nihil, in an absolutely delectable ensemble by herself featuring pieces from Mugler, Balenciaga, and Alexander McQueen. A form fitting floral oriental inspired minidress is offset by a flurry of black vinyl accessories, most notably a pair of stacked knee high boots platformed by McQueen’s infamous alien heels, second only to a stellar headpiece akin to an intergalactic goth crib mobile. It is no secret that Nihil is a walking rolodex of subversive and cutting edge fashion references, and she takes every opportunity, including this one, to show that. Boasting a mouth watering colour palette, picture perfect proportions, and a trademark unapologetic attitude, Nihil once again plays perfectly on her own rhythm and delivers of a symphony of style supremacy.

BERKE

Back at it again is the unstoppable Berke, who is letting us eat cake in this pre-French revolution Moschino masterpiece, by Nihil. Sickly sweet pink thigh high laced combat boots act as the podium to a flourish of anime and floral motifs, printed onto a lamp shade shaped skirt with bodice and sleeves to match. The ripe punch of this look alone is enough to knock you off your feet, however investigating the details takes you on an even more mouth-watering journey — picking up on the salmon pink fingerless biker gloves, decadent double layered gold chains, and Pat McGrath for John Galliano makeup — the whole costume is simply tantalising. Need I even mention the tumbling unit of renaissance era golden locks? The more I divulge in this outfit the more I find to adore. Berke certainly knows how to keep it fresh, constantly edging out their looks with bold and exciting concepts, and I for one can never get enough of it.

DORIAN

Hot off the tail of co-hosting SDFB’s first ever couture event, MODÉ (with yours truly), is the living legend, Dorian, in what is quite possibly the most insanely striking look I have ever had the privilege of providing my commentary, by Nihil. While I expect nothing less of Dorian than to always turn it the fuck out, he did so with devastating beauty and boisterous sentiment all the same. This simple yet highly effective John Galliano sheer white gown cascades from beneath an entirely exposed décolletage and is beautifully offset by tropical lime green Bottega Venata shoes and bag, providing us both sweet and sour simultaneously. Fresh from a post-Paris fashion week slumber party, Dorians knotted up hair with piecey bangs is the final cherry on top of this sweet and sultry, yet painfully gorgeous garb. Some might dare to say this look is all to similar to Dorians outfit for ESA 2021 (in which he also landed on my best dressed list) and to that I say; if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

WORST OF THE NIGHT

TINSALAY

Resident troll and beloved try-hard Tinsalay Taylor sure enough shouldered her way onto the carpet in a Versace gown, by Nick, that can only be described as tragically boring and disappointingly safe. An unnecessarily thick shoulder strap hoists up a desaturated buttery-yellow shiny gown, forcing Tinsalay to appear washed out and far too plain — the failure to accessorise, bar a pair of dainty earrings, is the real gut punch of this look, leaving us no choice but to place our focus on the dress itself which is doing… well, nothing. In an era where so many of the hard hitters at SDFB events are pushing the envelope and playfully exploring their personal styles, Tinsalay stays rigid in her abysmal adoration of bridesmaids dresses and tired, dated aesthetics. 

 

MARTHA

We were assaulted by a plethora of black sequin gowns during Diamondz, however this particular Laquan Smith dress on Martha, by Lullih, unfortunately read as the cheapest — perhaps due to the fact it was paired with an overzealous icy white fur that seems it was mopped from a mob wife, and three gappy braids, done further disservice by a chunky uni-bang. Even the too-dark tights add to the overall feel that this look was just poorly thought out and smashed together with the ideation of “why not”, trying to violently hit every Instagram fuelled fashion trend in it’s wake. Ultimately, at it’s core, this look screams “first time attendee at the Met Gala (with no industry connections)” and is wondrously juvenile in its overt lack of careful editing and failure to possess an ounce of cohesion.

CAROLIN

Barely wrapped in dull copper fabric and a sad swarm of lifeless butterflies, is Carolin in a Michelle Herbert ensemble by herself. The utterly confusing colour palette of this look is only the beginning of what makes it so bleak to look at, carried through by the odd and unflattering cut and fit of the gown itself. Without the insects clinging onto it for dear life, this dress would look exactly like a satin bedsheet off the sale rack at TJ Maxx, and the key to a truly successful look is being able to take it apart and still appreciate each piece individually, which cannot be said in this instance. Interestingly, the shoes - which IRL are a cheap rip off of Alexander McQueen’s butterfly sandals - seem to speak volumes for the vibe this look really gives off, which is that of laziness and little faith in ones own abilities to think of something new and exciting.

LANA

Standing sheepishly in the corner of the afterparty is Lana in a crystal Julien MacDonald gown, by Aylla. Looking like a soccer mom in her mid 30s finally achieving her dream of being crowned prom queen (fuck you, Cassandra!) Lana is serving nothing more than drab disaster, despite being covered head to toe in shiny crystals. The choice to accessorise with the crown of a late European monarch and clunky butterfly appliquéd heels feels so nonsensical, possibly demonstrating Lanas inability to be consciously selective when deciding on the finer details — which is only further amplified by the out of place baby pink stiletto nails and bleach blonde wavy wig. My greatest concern pertaining to this particular look is who in their right mind thinks of Julien MacDonald as the go to for a sickening, event ready outfit? Truly unnerving.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

ALEX

Bejewelled in a bespoke John Galliano tiered flapper dress, by Umut and Nihil, Alex Fletcher is deemed delightful and a little daring with a flash of nipple to tease. A plume of swampy green feathers jut from her head, clipped in with a demure bow — this matched with lashings of chunky jewels and strappy box-toed pumps makes for a scrumptious get up, perfectly in theme with the night itself.

LAURYN

Dominatrix diva Lauryn Lahavas is fabulously ferocious in this killer 80’s inspired outfit, by Ana. Belted knee high pleather boots cut into a red hot fishnet body stocking and a skintight bodysuit seemingly sizzling to the touch. The real hero of this look is the bedazzled cropped leather jacket, with puffy sleeves trimmed with whiplash fringe.

UMUT

It would simply be a crime to not give Umut her flowers for bringing one of the most iconic and mesmerising, yet disturbing, fashion moments to her event to which the backbone was honouring fashion through the ages. Laying it all bare, Umut references Alexander McQueen’s infamous VOSS show finale with immaculate impact, thanks to the always mind blowing skills of Nihil. A moment which shifted the tectonic plates of the fashion industry, and will surely have a similar effect on all future events hereon.

**

I can whole heartedly say that this was one of my favourite SDFB events in recent years (and can almost not forgive myself for not attending!), with so many exhilarating moments and a highly successful turn out of well dressed attendees - Umut really raised the bar, and I am interested to see if it will be topped by upcoming events such as Gallery and SDMAS, coming later this year.

However, until then - this is me signing off, and dialling down into the depths.

See you on the other side…

Jailer x