ESA 2021 CARPET REVIEW

In what feels like the blink of an eye, I find myself back once again to dish the dirt on a flurry of 'fits from another outstanding SDFB event; this time, the End of Stardoll Awards, wherein many of the communities finest talents racked up accolades for their work and contributions, as we communally waved goodbye to Flash, and in turn, Stardoll as we always knew it.


The event, hosted by Alexandra Saab and co-ordinated by Umut Gülme, boasted one of the most impressive carpet events in years, following a theme of the four elements (earth, water, air, and fire) and in succession followed a striking array of theatric and fashion forward looks - alas, some attendees were unfortunately just out of their element.


As is tradition around these parts, I hand selected my top 5 best looks, 5 worst looks, and a trio of honourable mentions to dissect. A reminder that these are solely my opinions, and the minor backlash I received from my last review has not deterred me from keeping it 100 and saying what I want to say - anyone who takes issue with that is more than welcome to clap back accordingly or simply unfriend/block me at their leisure. As for the rest of you - let's dive right in...


(PSA: all looks featured were designed by the person wearing them, unless stated otherwise. None of the criticism is based on the quality of the graphics, but rather the look itself.) 

 

SELF BRAG;

JAILER

Emerging from the depths of reclusiveness, I was proud to bless you all with my presence at this particular event, donning a Christian Dior Fall 2001 Couture ensemble made by Nihil and edited/colour-graded by yours truly. This look was essentially my deliverance of social and political commentary on the reality of fashion and textiles being a mass polluter of our planet (thus landing me in the element of "earth"), denoting the ideology that we as consumers see no threshold to the amount of clothing we purchase under capitalist regimes and continuously pile upon ourselves with abundance. Visually, this outfit is just layers upon layers of fabric, scattered gaudy jewellery, and embroidered with a large Koi fish, which you could argue is suffocated by the myriad of fashion surrounding it.  There are several statements I wanted to make with this look, and I am so thrilled that it spoke for itself in many ways. I may not attend most events these days, but when I do, I make sure to attend.


 

BEST OF THE NIGHT; 


NIHIL

Feast your hungry eyes on this ferocious fashion banquet, served up by none other than the legendary Nihil, wearing a look inspired by Ed Marler, Dilara Findikoglu, and FKA Twigs, made by herself. From head to heels, this look is an immaculate display of assured style and exquisite taste - yards of velvet-rope-red box braids cascade against a backdrop of deep jade, accented beautifully with teal kitten heels and matching stiletto nails, juxtaposed by a sleek lace printed second-skin bodysuit, finally finished off with a personalised belt of pearls and feathered cap, amidst a refined display of other carefully chosen accessories. Each element of this ensemble plays it’s own part in creating a look that is both sweetly cohesive yet dismantled by it’s own collision of style specific aesthetics, which ultimately fuses itself together into a post-baroque Chanel foamy sea wench back from a voyage to the future grand slam, and I for one cannot take my eyes off of it. 


ANA

Drenched in decadent drapes of lilac, adorned with white lace floral appliqués is the illustrious Ana Blum, wearing archive John Galliano, made by herself. Poised and shimmering, Ana managed to succeed where others have fallen in showcasing a look that is both fabulously fashionable and purely seductive while embodying the element of water so effortlessly. Encased by a duo of ruched pouffes, a slung bra strap mirrors the off shoulder moment which melts elegantly into a trademark Galliano asymmetrical skirt, altogether enticing you into a look which highlights Ana’s fantastic taste and eye for early 2000’s gaudy glamour edged out by a twist of modern elegance.


DORIAN

Wetter than an otters pocket and slicker than an oil spill, fashion daredevil Dorian truly lets you have it in this look by Di Petsa & Van Looveren, made by Nihil.  A provocative two piece of translucent white silk clings to Dorians notorious slender frame, backed by inches of icy blonde waves and accented by clear perspex accessories including fairytale-esque glass slippers, dented acrylic earrings, and a scandalous phallic handbag. While being undeniably true to Dorian’s sleek style, this look is a tantalising amplification of what makes him one to watch when it comes to outdoing the rest; raw, racy, and reliant on a knowledge of fashion that far surpasses any notions of rules or regulations.


CHRIS

It’s so rare to come across such a fashion chameleon as Chris, who dares to wear whatever they please and consistently switches up the game every time - rarer yet, is the fact that Chris never misses the mark and undeniably makes her presence known at every event she attends. Tightly wound in a melting pot of vintage McQueen, Chris pays homage to one of the designers most infamous collaborations with Shaun Leane, through the featuring of Eshu’s silver mouthpiece - simultaneously alluding to her own razor sharp approach to detailing. Complete with a waist cinched by a strand of rosary beads and a renounced stance, Chris surrenders herself to the mercy of high fashion once again.


ETHER

Making his event debut at the night in question was new kid on the block, Ether Savvas, wearing a look by Christian Stone (featured in VFILES SS 2018) made by Nihil. Menswear is certainly it’s own hurdle to jump, and Ether did so with alarming stature - opting for an out-of-this-world ensemble consisting of wet look ultramarine zipper-split pants, webbed elbow-length gloves, and a top constructed of water bead filled zip-loc bags. Taking the theme of water in a more literal sense, Ether graciously avoided overstepping into tacky territory and instead remained true to his own rebellious sense of style, outshining his male counterparts in a look that is fiercely artisanal at it’s core, and introduces him as a breath of fresh air to the stuffy world of events. 


WORST OF THE NIGHT;

ROXANNE

Wild is the wind, and wilder yet is the reckless decision to wear such a drab outfit as this to one of the most prestigious events of the year. Roxanne vastly underwhelms in this morbidly monochromatic Antonio Grimaldi dress, made by Kiki Wells, squeamishly offset by a subtle yet garish face of neon yellow makeup. Not only is this gown such a bland choice in and of itself, but we are forced to face it due to a sorry lack of accessories or sense of styling at all. We all know by now just how high the bar has been set, so it only leaves me bewildered when I see something so bleak and half-assed traipse down the carpet. When minimalism calls, be sure to pick up the phone with hyper-focused enthusiasm, otherwise just let it go to voicemail.


BREVIS

Having seemingly just rolled off page one of an Amazon search for “sexy atlantis party costume”, Brevis delivers a devastatingly insulting blow to Paris Hilton, reducing her image to that of a jaunty sorority girl with buckets of enthusiasm yet hollowed out troughs of poor taste. The irony of showing out as one of the worlds richest heiresses whilst clad in quite possibly the cheapest look of the night is seemingly lost on Brevis — failing to realise she would be running alongside the big dogs on the carpet, tragically she trails behind in this trampy look which is fit for nothing more than a sketchy backyard pool party in the suburbs. 


SOLTUN

I’m left beyond puzzled by this look which is pieced together with painstakingly “trendy” pieces, including, but sadly not limited to, the ghastly LE Steampunk Platforms, which were bad enough trapped within the walls of Stardoll, let alone disgracing the carpet of a highly anticipated and thematic event. A crumpled yard of galaxy print fabric torn straight from a 2012 sale bin is cinched over a “The Birth of Venus” printed biker bodysuit, delightfully finished off with a disturbingly out-of-place Louis Vuitton Petite Boite Chapeau bag and some tired k-pop hairstyle that I’ve seen more times than my own asshole. The mind truly boggles as I attempt to conjure up the traumatic scope of fashion one must possess to bravely bring this look into the public eye - the shame would simply be too overwhelming. 


MIKI

Never has a look read so last-minute-fuck-what-should-I-wear as this atrocity from Miki, wearing what can only be described as a darted bed sheet with one arm hole, made by Nickolas. A pair of gorgeous diamond drop earrings dangle in despair atop the rest of this dismal ensemble, and the confusion only continues once panning to the makeup which screams “I’m edgy!” to a room full of people who aren’t even listening. It’s vital that you bring 100% of yourself to the event carpets, and Miki haphazardly brought 10% maximum, making a forgettable impression that almost didn’t even qualify for worst dressed, but I could not let go unscathed. 


ROXX

Props to Roxx for being the first to land herself on my worst dressed list on two separate occasions, a feat nobody wishes to achieve yet she has managed with frightening ease. Roxx emits a strange sense of déjà vu, once again pulling up to the function with one bejewelled titty out and zero sign of taste. A pair of boxy leather shorts sit beneath a sculpted black blazer, mismatched with olive green strappy sandals and glaring visor sunglasses. This look is utterly repellent to any form of praise and cements Roxx as an avid finder of fashion faux-pas on any end of the spectrum, speaking only to the depths of which from only she can gouge out such disastrous dressing. 


HONOURABLE MENTIONS;

BERKE

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Berke is a towering inferno of rage in this flaming vintage McQueen gown by Ana Blum.  Showing immense stamina by appearing for a third consecutive time on the right side of my review posts, Berke is certainly capable of striking while the iron is hot and showcasing impressive looks whenever the culture calls. 


OLA

Renowned sweetheart and mind-blowingly talented designer Ola Joseph appears decadent in a Claud Monet inspired gown, with blooming parasol, by Lullih. The ornate appeal of this painterly floral ensemble knows no bounds and is the perfect styling choice for the easy, breezy Ola, having her come up smelling of roses.


DANIEL

In perhaps the most dazzling and ostentatious appearance of the night, Daniel blew us all out of the water in this tremendous tribute to Ursula the sea witch, by Banksy. Camp as fuck, yet oozing with a high fashion sentiment, Daniel served up a show-stopping concept with more than enough exquisite execution to back it up. 


**

Thus, we call it a night - and what a night it was! The event itself went down a storm, and was a collaborative success which culminated in the vast majority of attendees gushing over one another’s looks, sharing behind-the-scenes tidbits and overall celebrating the mutual hype of togetherness.

Thank you for riding the waves with me once more, it is forever a pleasure.

…see you on the other side.

Jailer x

Comments